033: Nancy Houston

I am so excited to have Nancy Houston with me today on Thriving Beyond Belief! We talk about a topic that is necessary in our culture today and one that is good for our hearts. We discuss intimacy within marriage!
Nancy shares her story with us and how she has gotten to where she is today. Nancy’s book Love and Sex was released in February, which is the Christian guide to healthy intimacy. She wrote the book for those 18 and older to try and help others find their pathway to healthy intimacy. She is also a certified sex therapist who devotes her time to helping couples restore their relationships, seek healing and help, and to fully enjoy marriage the way God intended it to be.
Nancy had some beautiful things to say regarding her past and dealing with abuse. She reminds us that in Scripture, God shares that He is not ashamed of us or what has happened to us, but He wants to meet us and reconstruct from the ruins of our past. She also shares that we must recognize the need for healing. She discusses coming from a place to self-hatred to seeking outside help that helped reinforce that her past was not her fault and that your past is not your fault. We see that through His Word, the Lord wants to meet us in the midst of our hurt and be our great Healer.
Nancy’s definition of thriving is facing our negative realities and walk through them to experience the LIFE on the other side. We have to leave our Egypt to reach our promised land. It doesn’t mean it is an easy journey, but it is a worthy one. Our God wants us to thrive in this way in all areas of our life- including our sex life with our spouse!
Nancy reminds us that God specifically designed us with a purpose. He is not ashamed of sexuality because He designed us to be sexual beings that gain attachment and closeness within the bond of marriage through intimacy. He desires that your intimate life is enjoyable and strengthens the marriage! We as a Christian culture need to remember to connect our spirituality with our sexuality. Often we don’t believe they are connected. But, in fact, they are stronger when they are connected.
We discuss at length those that are currently dealing with a disconnect in their marriage. Nancy discusses the scientific reasoning behind our need for attachment within marriage, what leads to breaks in the attachment, and how we can work through better communication to repair the disconnect. She encourages couples to learn to tell your spouse what you need instead of keeping score against them. Rather than blame your spouse, ask for what you feel you are lacking. She also encourages those that have tried everything and their spouse is unwilling to change to keep seeking help. Continue to pray over your marriage and tap into resources to find that intimacy again.
We end with talking about how sex in marriage was not created to be an obligation to either party, but to be a beautiful and pleasurable experience. Nancy talks through Scripture that beautifully portrays what intimacy in marriage looks like for both people, male and female.
Join me today as we gain wisdom in being healthy in every way in our marriages.