Bachelor Recap: With Chris Gillis — How Much Space Should You Give the Guy You Are Dating So He Doesn't Find Some

On this week's Bachelor recap, Marni and Chris discuss the women’s tell-all episode and Matt James facial hair. This season is proving to be a letdown in the love department. We can only hope the season finale will offer some kind of twist with just Bri,  Michelle, and Rachael left in the running for the soon-to-be lackluster proposal from Matt. 
 
Key takeaways from this episode: 
Be emotional when you have strong feelings
Bad kissers
How to be the person you want to attract
Find out where a relationship is headed with a single question
 
It’s in His Kiss [9:11] One aspect of the show everyone can agree on is no one likes Matt's beard. Not the girls, not the audience, and not Marni or Chris Gillis. And when you add that beard to his already weird kissing style it’s obvious that Matt may only be no more than a good-hearted f*c$boy. 
When Matt kisses the girls he does not close his eyes. And admits to not knowing he was supposed to. Wait.......What? Marni says that it displays his lack of emotional availability and will make it hard for him to find love with any of the girls this season. 
Data proves that relationships with bad kisses don’t last long.
 
Bachelor Ladies Tell-All, or Do They? [14:56] The ladies got the opportunity to watch the episodes as they were shown to the audience. They were able to see why Chris calls his responses ‘surgical’ and Marni calls him the quintessential f*c$boy. 
While Serena said Matt has a certain way of making you feel like you are really special. Piper spilled her heart open and asked Matt to answer for repeating the same lines to all the ladies. 
Normally, at least one girl will call out the Bachelors for their experience but the ladies this season did nothing but praise Matt. 
Queen Victoria had a moment when she commented on Matt’s advice when she left the show, "I hope you do some self-reflection." Victoria said screw you buddy, but she was leaking all over the place. She is a hot mess.
Be the person you want to attract. 
Marni shares that she was a bit ticked-off by the discussion about women being too sensitive. Truth is, women have been receiving this message for their whole lives. Everyone has feelings and everyone gets to feel their feelings. It's more about what you do with the feelings, do you manage them, and articulate them in a healthy way? 
If you are not emotionally available, if you have drama around you, or have your guard up you will attract guys who will do that to you or reinforce those beliefs. People can be mirrors for our emotional selves. 
Piper said she was falling in love with Matt but admits she was already in love with him. She says ever since she was young she has always played it cool. She had her guard up. If you think a guy doesn't notice that you have your guard up, well you are wrong. It's noticeable. Chris says Piper, maybe, fell in love with the idea of being in love. We all do it. 
There is no rule and every situation is different but you must remember that you are enough and you make the decision if the person is a fit for you. If that person isn't, even if he is hot, you decide if he is not enough. 
 
Are You in a Relationship with a Matt James Type? [34:07] No one wants to appear needy at the beginning of a relationship. We may let the other person drive while we are feeling people out. But exercise caution because it can quickly turn into a relationship where you don't ask for what you need. Chris uses Abigail’s style as an example.
Marni suggests using this language when a guy suddenly goes cold; 
“Hey... I think we have fun and I like where this is going but I am kind of confused because it seems a little out of character for what we have been building together, and I want to make sure we are on the same page.” 
Don't wait and wonder about what is happening. If a guy starts to pull away, don't be disempowered. Ask the question and say it in a way that doesn't put him on the spot. Then you know how he feels and has the opportunity to respond.
Don't make assumptions about where a relationship is going. Ask the question and be open to the consequences, even if it's painful. 
 
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